I have been putting this off for a while because I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and go through pictures and relive the last few weeks of my Dad's life. My sweet sweet Dad, J. Kurt Williams, passed away on Friday August 21st. He had been battling MSA (multiple system atrophy) for the last 6 years. It was a brutal disease that slowly took away his ability to speak, walk, eat and eventually his life. It was so hard to watch this strong man slowly deteriorate, but he was humble and graceful until the bitter end. As the summer went on we knew that the end was coming soon and we tried to spend as much time with him as possible. By this point he couldn't communicate much even though he was completely there mentally, so we would just sit with him and talk to him or watch t.v. with him or just hold his hand. A few days before he passed by sister Sunni came into town from Rexburg and we were able to spend a couple of days together as a family. Even though by this point by Dad was sleeping most of the time and very lethargic, I know that he loved having us all around telling stories and reminiscing. By Thursday morning he was pretty much unresponsive and heavily medicated to keep him comfortable. There were multiple instances on Thursday that his breathing would change and we thought it was time. Each time this happened we would gather around him and someone would offer a family prayer. Thursday night I didn't sleep at all, I just couldn't turn my thoughts off. Friday morning I dropped the kids off at my sister-in-laws and headed over to my parents house. We spent the morning around my Dad and right around noon with a single tear running down his cheek he took his last breath. It was such a bittersweet moment. We were so glad that he was no longer suffering and that he got to return to his Father in Heaven but so sad because we wouldn't get to be with him any longer in this mortal life. That last little bit of time with him that day was the most spiritual moment of my life. I have never felt the spirit so strongly. I am so grateful that we were able to have this time to say goodbye to him, because I know that a lot of people don't get that chance. I'm also grateful that Craig had listened to the spirit and had come over to the house during his lunch hour so that he could be there to comfort me.
The next week was a blur. We had most of the funeral already planned, which was good because none of us really wanted to think about it. It was a bit of a logistical nightmare figuring everything out with Covid regulations, but again we were just grateful to be able to hold a funeral because I know a lot of people were unable to because of the pandemic. On Friday the 28th we held the viewing at my parents stake center. We had to split up the times so that we could keep the numbers down, so we had family come from 5:00-6:00, ward members come from 6:00-7:00 and then all other friends come from 7:00-8:00. It worked out well keeping everyone spread out and not getting too crowded. We had a video/slideshow going in the gym for people to watch as they waited. It was a lot of fun going through pictures and remembering fun times and laughing at haircuts and mustaches. Melissa and her mother-in-law put it together beautifully and they even added some "dad" jokes that my dad was so famous for. Having it spread out so much made for a long evening, but it was so good to see so many people that loved my Dad and who wanted to continue to support my mom and the rest of the family. There were definitely some tears shed, but it was truly amazing watching my Mom give support to those who were having a hard time as they came through. She was really being lifted and you could feel the spirit surrounding her.
Saturday morning I woke up and went for a run to just try and clear my thoughts and make sure I had all my thoughts gathered for my comments at the funeral. My Dad wanted all of his kids to speak at his services and we knew this for quite a while, but it was still hard to put it all together. We all wanted to focus on something that we learned from our Dad or an attribute of his that we wanted to emulate. I decided to speak about how he was a hard worker and how he tried to instill in us the need to work hard for what we wanted, especially when it came to our family and that life isn't easy, but it is worth the effort. We met at the church and my brother-in-law Hyrum offered a beautiful family prayer before we headed into the chapel for the services. We had to limit the service to 100 people and so it was just family. My parents have both always loved music and so my Dad wanted to make sure there were a few musical numbers at the services. So we decided for an opening and closing hymn and to replace those with extra musical numbers. Two close family friends sang "The Prayer" and then Sunni gave his life sketch. The grandkids, my mom, and us siblings then sang "Love is Spoken Here" which is a primary song that was sung in our house a lot growing up. Tiffany then spoke and then I spoke and then my brother-in-law Hyrum (Sunni's husband) and their 3 oldest kids did the most amazing musical number I think I have ever heard. Hyrum and my niece Kobi sang "Forever" while being accompanied on the piano by my nephew Mason and my niece Akirah played the viola. Not only does it have amazing lyrics about our Savior and his sacrifice for us, but they brought the spirit so strong. It really was so beautiful. Melissa and Tucker then both spoke and then my parents bishop and Stake president both said a few words. Some of my cousins from my moms side of the family then sang for the closing hymn, "In a Coming Day". All of the musical numbers sounded professional, well with exception to the one that I helped sing. My Dad was always very adamant about keeping his funeral services short, so we did our best to keep it close to an hour. Looking back I just keep thinking how wonderful a service was and how strong the spirit was felt the entire time.
After the service was over they took the casket out to the hurst. My brother Tucker, the 4 brother-in-laws, and the 6 grandsons were all pallbearers. Because of Covid, the cemetery that my Dad is buried at wouldn't allow any graveside services, so we couldn't follow him up to the grave. So instead we went right to the luncheon that my parent's ward put together for us. Their whole ward has truly been amazing through my Dad's entire illness and the funeral. It was nice to get to visit with family who came in town for the services and to listen to stories about my Dad, because trust me he has some great ones, especially if they involve his brothers. Sunday morning we then headed out to the graveside to dedicate the grave. My Mom choose a great location within Dry Creek Cemetery. He is surrounded by huge willow trees and is close by to some family friends who also passed on too early. My Mom and brother designed a beautiful headstone and we can't wait for that to be ready. My brother works for the monument company and so he will be able to help with the creation and the placement of the headstone. And then on Monday everything was back to the usual. It was hard the next week to go on with life and to put a smile on my face, but I knew that I needed to continue to put one foot in front of the other. I know that the spirit really carried all of us through this entire thing and is still helping us when we need it. There are days that are harder than others, but most days I just smile when I think of him. I was always a Daddy's girl and looked up to him so much, so it was very hard to say goodbye, but I am so glad that I have the knowledge of the plan of happiness. I know that because our Savior sacrificed himself on our behalf, that we will get to be a family forever and live together for eternity. I'm so grateful that my parents helped to build my testimony from a young age of temples and keeping covenants and that I got to continually watch their example of how to live to be able to return to our Father in Heaven someday. I also know that my Dad is now healthy and no longer has to deal with this terrible disease. I can't wait to greet him in heaven with a huge hug and then go for a run. I love you Dad! It's not goodbye forever, just until we meet again!
